How to Plan an International Family Vacation

After about a year of living in Ukraine I found myself as the tour director for a very small, very specific group of visitors — my family. I’m not even sure how the idea got started, considering my parents are not big international travelers anyway and Ukraine is hardly on the top of many people’s to-travel lists. But perhaps after a year of my expat life in Kyiv, they had started to see the appeal and their own wanderlust had kicked in. And suddenly, I was buying opera tickets and booking overnight trains. I’ve now planned two trips for both Ukraine and Poland, I’ve found some tricks and tips so that them go off smoothly and with only the best kinds of memories. So if you’re organizing a visit to your expat home or you’re putting together a tour of a country you barely know yourself, here are some tips on how to plan an international family vacation. And stay (mostly) sane.

Be organized.

I am not a detail oriented person. I ‘famously’ moved to Tbilisi without a job, an apartment, or even a friend. But if you’re planning a trip for multiple people, you have to know what’s happening (or could happen) all the time. If only for the simple reason– people are going to ask you.

I have never been so organized as I am when I’m planning international family trips. In my new role, I make sure to have all the information for all our hotels, I make reservations, I scrutinize maps. I have even written itineraries like you would get from a tour company. Suddenly I turn into a faux-travel agent, and I kind of love it. And I think it makes everyone feel more at ease.

Maybe a little too at ease sometimes…

Leave room for spontaneity.

That being said, you don’t want to plan everything. When I planned our Ukraine trip, I was so knowledgeable and experienced I knew exactly what I wanted to show my family. However, planning our Polish road trip, I had a lot less personal experience. While I knew I could research beforehand, some things would be better to figure out on the ground– for example, restaurants. I wanted to make sure we had quality meals, so I found a lot of places to eat beforehand, but I also knew that we would get great recommendations from locals once we were there.

You might also not want to plan every minute of the day. Maybe leave some time open or vague so that your group can make a decision in the moment. You might find that you’re tired and need an afternoon to rest. Or you’d rather eat a kebab on the go so you can have more museum time instead of sitting down for a nice lunch.

Consider everyone’s preferences.

After you decide to travel with your family, the next thing to do is figure out what to do and how to do it. Is your family into nature or culture? Will food be a priority of enjoyment or just fuel? How do people prefer to travel from city to city? What is everyone’s standard of comfort when it comes to accommodations?

It’s always best to straight-up ask people what they want and prefer, but also use your knowledge of each individual. People may seem very go-with-the-flow during planning, but if you know a certain situation will stress them out or disappoint them, don’t be afraid to make those judgment calls. This is especially important with activities a person doesn’t want or can’t do. They may not want to admit that to you, so you need to pick up on that yourself.

Use your insider knowledge.

If your family is coming to visit your expat home, chances are they want to see the tourist attractions but also your daily life and how you live. The best thing about being a ‘tour director’ for my family in Ukraine was taking them to my favorite places, the cocktail bar with live jazz on Tuesdays, the restaurant in Odessa with the coolest bathroom I’ve ever seen, the hidden Masonic themed restaurant in Lviv.

If you don’t have insider knowledge, find those who do. With Poland, I reached out to people I knew who lived there and ruthlessly researched my favorite travel Facebook group for ideas.

This is also your chance to throw in something new for your family! Out of their comfort zone, they might discover something about themselves. Was it a risk planning to take my city family to the Tatra Mountains, complete with an afternoon at the thermal baths? Yes! Was I really confident that my family really could handle three nights on Ukraine’s overnight trains? No! Was I impressed when my mom readily agreed to go to my favorite Kiev speakeasy (where we definitely did not order cocktails)? 100%! It might not go over wonderfully (our visit to the Odessa market was not as impressive) but you and your family might be pleasantly surprised.

‘Steal’ from organized tours.

Not really sure what to do? Take a look at what group tours do! When planning our trip to Poland, I didn’t have the experience and knowledge like I did for the Ukraine trip. I had spent two months in Poland, but completely based in Wroclaw with quick, bureaucratic-focused day trips to Warsaw and Krakow. So I took a look at what organized tours to Poland did and cross-referenced that with my own ideas.

Here’s a strategy from organized tours that I really like: When you first arrive in a new place, start with a general city tour. Once your whole group has a basic understanding of the city, you can better make connections to everything else you see and learn, as well as make better decisions about what to do. Including ‘optionals.’

Adopt the idea of optionals.

Another thing that organized tours do is offer optional excursions. You can do this with your family, too. Perhaps a city has a lot of great museums or parks or cafes. If the individuals in your family have different interests, let them pursue those! Not everyone has to do all the same things all the time. However, you, as the tour guide, have to know what the different options are.

And maybe your family members aren’t so confident getting around a foreign city by themselves. You might need to go to a certain neighborhood or area in a group and split up from there, but if you do this after you’ve already spent some time in a place it should help everyone feel more comfortable about getting around.

Be decisive.

If you are the defacto tour director, you are in charge. When I plan an family international vacation, I am usually organizing for myself, my aunt, and my parents. I am a more experienced traveler than both my parents. My aunt is more well-traveled than I am, though she usually goes on tours. So the three of them operate as if they are on tour, and I’m the one with the clipboard and the room assignments.

I’m not saying don’t listen to other people — if I did that, we would have missed out on the road trip part of our Poland trip because renting a car didn’t even cross my mind. I’ve found that general travel plans are good for group discussion, but destination-specific questions should be answered by the tour director.

Delegate tasks.

You may be the tour guide, but unless you’re getting paid you don’t need to do everything by yourself. Give people tasks that you think they would enjoy or that they would be good at. While I’m in charge of the itineraries, my mom is responsible for picking our accommodation. And when we did our Poland road trip, my dad was responsible for renting the car and driving. It’s a system that plays to everyone’s strengths. 

Understand that you are the spokesperson.

You may not speak the language, but it’s likely that if you’re the unofficial tour guide you are also the unofficial translator. If you’ve spent time in the country previously, your family is going to rely on you to guide them through interactions. Make a plan on how you are going to handle being the intermediary.

Book in advance.

When I travel on my own, it’s easy to slid into the last empty spot at the bar or join a tour group that’s almost at capacity. But if you’re traveling as a group of three or more, suddenly the amount of space you take up makes certain demands. And these demands are… reservations. You don’t want to be disappointed by missing out on a must-try dining experience or a must-see tour because there’s not enough space. If there are things you absolutely have to do on your itinerary, make sure you have those booked in advance.

Think about taking time apart.

Going back to the idea that not everyone has to do all the same things together all the time, you might want to build time into your schedule to take time apart. This is easiest in the mornings or evenings, before or after your schedule really starts. I find leaving evenings open is a great way to give your family members space. People can go for walks if they want, find a place for an after dinner drink, or hang out in their hotel room. Especially for travelers coping with jet lag, leaving time free after dinner is a smart planning decision.

Remember, it’s about the people.

It can be easy to get stressed out over details or worry about the trip is ‘perfect’ enough. You might find you have to let go of some ideas because they don’t fit into everyone’s vision for the trip. You might feel disappointed, frustrated, or tense at times. But at the end of the day, just remember to relax and enjoy the trip, bumps and all. It’s a unique experience, to travel abroad with your family. And while you might remember the vistas, the history, the food, you will definitely remember how special it was to experience all those with people you love.

Have you ever taken a international family vacation? Have any extra tips for making the most of them?